Motherhood,  My Day,  Porter

Adventures In Baby-Proofing

Yesterday, I followed Porter around the house baby-proofing. I followed him around for a good hour — he realized he was no longer confined to the TV area and was booking around the house like a locomotive.

You guys, this was genius. Sometimes you never know what needs to be adjusted until your baby is all over it and/or shoving it into his mouth, right? This was a great plan. Or, so I thought. I didn’t take into account that he is fast. While I was busy “fixing” something, he was off into another mess.
Just a few of his shenanigans:
  • He ate dog food. A stray piece from the bowl I had removed from within his reach. HE ATE DOG FOOD. I fished it out of his mouth as fast as I could, but not fast enough. Eww.
  • He got stuck behind the recliner. I didn’t realize that I couldn’t follow him everywhere. He wasn’t a happy camper for a good 90 seconds and I tried to free him frantically.
  • He got ahold of his bottle of teething tablets, which were on the bottom shelf of his changing table, and now it’s his favorite rattle. He won’t give it up.
  • He got on my laptop as I plugged some outlets and sent an email that I wasn’t meaning to send yet. Thank God for the “undo send” option.
  • He found my magazine stash, and proceeded to rip all the pages he could get his hands on. Within the four seconds it took me to make it to him, he had demolished like ten magazines. HOW IS THIS EVEN POSSIBLE.

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