Four years of marriage down, and I think I’m finally coming to the understanding that marriage takes work. The cloud of honeymoon fog has lifted a bit, and the reality of life has set in: anything good in life takes work. Anything. It takes work to raise our kids (uh, it takes a LOT of work to bring them into the world). It takes work to climb the ranks in our careers and earn the respect we want. It takes work to keep our bodies healthy and strong. So, why would I not expect marriage to be just as demanding of our time and energy?
The first year, we didn’t work very hard. We skipped rent payments to go to Vegas or buy clothes and things to decorate a place we couldn’t afford, we ate takeout many days of the week, we consulted God casually about our marriage, we stayed up too late and ignored our alarm clocks too often, and I cleaned the house because it was funny that I was grown up enough to actually be a WIFE (not because I knew it’s what I needed to do to keep our house a home).
Now, FOUR YEARS after we said yes to a lifetime together… we’ve experienced so much more life. So many awakenings, so many tears, so many laughs, so many celebrations, and so many frustrations. It’s sobering and beautiful, all at once.
I’m grateful that you chose me, Paul. I am always thankful for your transparency, your genuine desire to honor and love me above all things, and the hard work you put in in order to keep us strong. The way you interact with our son, the moments you force me to sit down and talk it out, the mornings you walk in with a coffee for me, the hugs for no reason, the work you’re doing to build our home, the fact that you purposefully seek out accountability and friendships that help you to grow and improve as a man and husband, the way you worship Him and show others how to do the same: all of those actions are how I know you love me, and they inspire me to do better at showing you that I love you right back. With actions, not words.
They’re inspiring me to put down my phone and pick up a book. They’re inspiring me to make sure I have done my hair and makeup before you get home, even on days where Porter demands the world of me and I feel like I have nothing left to give (I’m still getting better at this, haha). They’re inspiring me to be honest and talk things out, rather than avoiding confrontation. They’re inspiring me to be the one to walk over and hug YOU for no reason. They’re inspiring me to pursue a healthy lifestyle, so I have lots of life left in our years. Your actions consistently inspire me to seek out a better and deeper relationship with God – even out of frustration 😉 – and that alone is worth its weight in gold.
I love you babe. Happy anniversary! Every year with you truly gets better and better. I love the complexity and intensity of our relationship, because it shows me how much we’ve grown and how deeply connected we truly are.