I thought about documenting a few of my experiences in worship – I know we all are blessed to have them, but worship is such a huge part of our daily routine (with Paul being a worship leader) that I find myself wanting to write down my stories to share them with others. Worship is what kept me in church when I first came back in 2007. I was in a bad place: totally desperate and completely doubtful. Desperate and doubtful is a bad place to be. But when I walked through the doors at my church and watched (yes, watched) people sing… not out of a hymnal… but on fire and in love with this distant God that I was so sad I had been letting down for so long, my mind was blown. God likes this?
Worship helped to solidify in my mind that God wants me as I am. He doesn’t want me because I am portraying an obedient-hearted believer and dutifully singing words on a page (although, He wants plenty of people that way! Just not me). He wants me messy. And loud. And passionate. And convicted. And awestruck… that’s how I’m moved. And I am so grateful for the ability to worship Him how He has built me to worship Him.
Anyway. My love of worship was born then… and I have a lot of stories of songs that I’ve listened to alone, in bed, crying – completely moved and speechless because I felt so loved. Songs that played on repeat as I struggled to rock my new baby to sleep. Songs that became our anthem during our second son’s health journey. Songs that helped me to understand how to deal when bad things happen. Songs that I fell in love with when I fell in love with a guy that led people in worship.
This weekend, our church did a new song – No Other Name, from Hillsong’s same album of the same title.There was a single part of in this song that completely reduced me to a pile of nothing. I just felt so small, so finite, so overwhelmed with His goodness. This song is SO powerful, but in recently walking through the scary times we did with Simon, singing this this past weekend reminded me to remember exactly Who we serve, in all His glory.
God isn’t a God that might show up. He will.
Also, He’s not a meek and emotional and soft God. I am meek and emotional and soft. He is UNDEFEATED. When I sang that line this weekend, I got chills. I love worship, but I don’t get chills often.
Seated on high
the undefeated One
Mountains bow down
as we lift Him up
MOUNTAINS bow down. Mountains, you guys. MOUNTAINS. Look out your window at Mount Rainier (well, all you Washington folk). That is a huge, unmovable piece of earth… and imagine that epic monument reducing to a pile of nothing in His presence.
He is strong. He is a force. Do you have any idea how huge that is? I loved how powerful this song portrays God. It will definitely be one that I recall when I need to remember that hard times don’t have anything on His greatness. And He’s on our side… how lucky are we?
The earth will shake
and tremble before Him
chains will break
as heaven and earth sing
Holy is name of Jesus