Junk Drawer

Ladies, We Can Do Better

This was originally a post I made in my women’s group, after a plethora of anonymous questions and concerns about infidelity and emotional affairs. I felt compelled to challenge the 12k women in my group to do and demand better, as women… and a few of them asked me to make it public so they can share, so I’m reposting here. <3


I know… it takes two to tango. I know, it’s just as much the man’s fault as “the other woman”. Maybe even more! I know, I know, I know. But, I’m a woman. As an admin here, I’ve read too many anonymous posts from women who’s husbands are carrying on inappropriate relationships with other women. So, I’d just like to say: I don’t understand how any WOMAN can justify an intimate (emotional, or physical) relationship with a married man.

We have almost 12,000 women in this group. With how many posts we read about this happening weekly, I know there might be some women in here that have actually been the other woman. Or, ARE CURRENTLY the other woman. No judgement, but I’m here to challenge you.

If you have a married man you’re flirting with, or fantasizing about, or leading on, or imagining as your soul mate… stop it. He’s not your soul mate. He’s taken, and he didn’t choose you. You don’t need to be sloppy seconds, you can find a man FOR YOU. One that hasn’t already vowed to love, honor, and cherish another woman for the rest of his life. Have more respect for yourself, and have more respect for the woman wearing his wedding ring. There are plenty of fish in the sea. Stay away from another woman’s fish.

The way of the world is that “you can do/have/be whatever you want”. This is SO harmful. This tells us that nothing is off limits. Nothing is out of bounds. My pastor preached on this last week: you cannot be whatever you want to be, but you can be EVERYTHING God called you to be. He did not call you to be a mistress. He did not call you to break up a marriage. He did not call you to settle for less than the best, at the expense of temporary satisfaction. If you don’t believe in God, fine… you can be everything THE UNIVERSE called you to be. “The Universe” doesn’t call you to be someone’s mistress. “The Universe” wants more from you.

Sorry. Reading one of the anonymous posts today just pissed me off so much. I started wondering if “the other woman” was apart of this group. And how many more there might be, that we have no idea about.

As women, we march, we demand justice and rights, and we stand together when it matters… but then we secretly message each other’s husbands? NO. It’s not ok. Get it together, ladies. Respect the woman you’re holding hands with, literally and figuratively.

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